And finally for the last song

Lately I have been very emotional. Also anxious about the times we live in. It feels like we are running out of time. The world is speeding down a high way without any breaks, we are too big to fail right?

I feel like we are all groping in the dark, not realising what is to come. None of these politicians or world leaders will let on, these world events falling down one after another like pearls with the strings broken.

The party will soon be over, and yes all summer 16.

Personally I think we are headed down a major economic disaster one has only to follow the news occasionally to understand this.

personal meets the political

Waking up in the morning my heart breaking, I feel like the world is changing for me, turning in the wrong direction and we feel helpless to do anything. We look on stay in doors share the  news etc. But what can we do?

A young person of 26 feels especially vulnerable.


Redemption –

“Remember there is always redemption, you might be at a cross roads alone, looking down at a precipice in fog, calculating, bracing your potential losses, sensing a magnitude, the mystery of a reward just beyond the veil of the horizon – never despair and my fuel I was always willing to share.” –

We finally meet

“When you are ready to embark on the journey of life to find meaning, when you have made a solemn inward pledge, when you have readily submitted to the ultimate task alone, when all you thought you knew becomes a phantom when you exchange your ego for mystery you shall find me next to you.” – Ayaan Ali 


Part 3: Making life decisions

So…there is something more to all of our lives and as I write this I feel that we are on unmarked paths and the only way to find the path is to fully open up the senses, to listen to the silences.

As Rumi sang songs of separation we have to endure, the separation of Allah and man. We have to make an extra effort in order  to know what is expected of us in this circumstances or another, to know what it felt for Abraham when he walked alone and left all he knew behind. Constantly dropping weight, letting go of attachments, deferring to Him in all circumstances. Savoring that final meeting. Yearning.

I would like you to know so far the progress I have made in finding my place in the world.

I came back from Morocco knowing that:

  1. I cannot drag myself forward without doing something I love. Passion for me is everything even if I have to work through dreary obscurity. I have seen peaks but I had to sleep at night so it wasn’t for me in those circumstances.
  2. I want to dedicate myself to learning, to paying homage to the greats to fill my vessel with light. I want to bog myself down to entirely immerse myself, I want to shadow the greats I want to open the scripture and be in awe.
  3. I want to listen to the silence and hear Allah’s voice, I want it to all make sense, to configure the truth like a puzzle.
  4.  Thing is, I don’t think I have the right to say I want to complete truth either, in fact what I most want is forgiveness just forgiveness and a new day to start a fresh.

The Qur’an as the final and enduring miracle.

When the Quraysh saw that the companions of the Messenger of Allah were increasing in number, ‘Utbah ibn Rabi’ah suggested that he go to the Messenger of Allah and try to patch up their differences. If the Quraysh made some concessions, he might agree to leave off his mission. ‘Utbah was given permission to negotiate on their behalf. He went to the Messenger of Allah and sat down beside him.

‘nephew’ he said, ‘you know your standing among us, but you have brought a matter of grave concern to your people. You have divided their community, made fun of their customs, criticised their gods and their religion and declared some of their ancestors to be unbelievers. Now listen to me. I will make some proposals for you to examine and perhaps you will accept them.’

The Messenger of Allah said, ‘speak Abu’l-Walid I am listening.’

‘Nephew,’ Utbah continued, ‘if you want money by this business, we will collect some of our property and make you the wealthiest among us. If you want honour we will make you our chief so that every decision is yours. If you want a kingdom we will make you our king. If you are possessed by a ghost of a jinn that you cannot drive away from yourself, we will find a skilful doctor to help you. We will spend our wealth on it till you are cured.’

When ‘Utbah had finished the Messenger of Allah asked ‘Have you finished Abu’l-Walid?’
‘Then Listen to mee.’
‘I will,’ said ‘Utbah.

The Messenger of Allah recited some verses from Surah Fussilat. ‘Utbah listened intently, putting his hands behind his back and leaning on them. When the Messenger of Allah reached the place mentioning prostration, he prostrated and then said, ‘you have heard what you have heard Abu’l-Walid. It is now up to you’

‘Utbah returned to his companions who commented ‘Abu’l-Walid’ came back with a different expression on his face to the one he went with.’

When he sat down beside them, they asked him what happened.

‘By Allah!’ he said, ‘I have heard words of the like of which I have never heard before. By Allah it is neither poetry nor magic nor soothsaying. O men of Quraysh! Obey me! Leave this man alone with what he has. Be considerate towards him and don’t interfere.’

‘By Allah,’ they said, ‘He has bewitched you with his tongue, Abu’l-Walid’

‘This is my opinion about him,’ he replied. ‘You do as you see fit.’


Paul Bowles – In Tangier

“Like any romantic, I had always been vaguely certain that sometime during my life I should come into a magic place (Tangier) which in disclosing its secrets would give me wisdom and ecstasy-perhaps even death.”

Paul Bowles, An Invisible Spectator – Biography


On suffering

Why do good things to bad people:

Refrain from harsh judgment it is an uneducated guess, and try to see the world as made up of individual with unique experiences, you don’t know every life as intimately as God does, there is a hidden narrative and a communication between them and God, when God shows his favours to what you deem an undeserving sinner when he saves them, He is teaching them to love, giving them hope while rewarding them for things you don’t know, or failed to imagine. Respect the diversity of experiences and respect the struggle.